Remember when being rich was just about you and that warm feeling in your tummy when you saw a poor person? Yeah, me neither, because I have never been there. But I know lots of people who have, and currently are in that, oh so special place.

Unfortunately, being rich is not as fun as it used to be, so the wealthy have had to come up with new ways to let all us know exactly what we are missing out on. Over the past decade these tactics have grown in odd and unpredictable measures. It used to be that a mink coat or a Bentley was enough to remind me of my unattractive bank account, but we grew numb to these posh ways, and so did they…

So they went a little more obvious, but still ambiguous enough to not be rude, with designer logo..s. A CHANEL or Louis Vuitton logo on the rim of some sunglasses or patterned on a handbag now did the trick. Soon after, everybody from suburban college girls to hip-hop stars had a COACH bag or a Fendi umbrella, so with the natural flow: a new trend had to be put in place to define the classes.

The toy dog movement was not new by any means, wealthy women have always loved their neatly groomed well mannered doggies, but there was always a time and place. It’s that time and place that changed over the past few years. Suddenly it’s ok to carry your dog around the mall or into a restaurant. Many shops have bowls of water out side for these new accessories. Yes I said it, accessories! Paris Hilton’s dog has the same value to her that my digital watch or my camo hat has to me - it’s not necessary. If I forgot my watch today, or lost my hat, or if Paris left her dog home, the world would stay the same. But as usual, the masses have begun to keep up with this trend too. So what will be next?

You really have to think like an attention starving no holds bar type of person to stay ahead of this turn. I always figured the best way to tell people with out saying a word (that you had more money than them) was to carry around a $2000 dog. But now that all these Joe nobodies have tiny dogs, what to do..what could they carry around that is less accessible than a 2-pound Yorkshire terrier? Hmmmm, well, I have the answer to that question, and so do Madonna and Angelina Jolie! Yep, you guessed it…carry around a human being. But not the old ..normal.., ..American.. type, because everybody has one of those. They needed something a little more outrageous, more exotic, more Asian or African.

So, all you trend spotters out there, keep your eyes peeled for Celebes or Socialites, or what ever they are, to be ditching their pooches for new accessories, ones with only 2 legs. But be scared, because somewhere out there lurks the trend after the trend. What could it possible be? Will we see Courtney Cox carrying an old man down Rodeo Drive? I for one, would never rule it out.

2 Responses to “I’m rich, you’re poor”

1. Thursday Says:
   December 6th, 2006 at 3:17 pm

   Ian,my son your tackling interesting and intriguing topics, I enjoy reading your pieces ur a cogent writer, you help accentuate what people can’t see, keep doin u. EZ

2. Yase Says:
   December 8th, 2006 at 5:07 pm

   Nice writeup.

Give the Author Some Feedback!